Hiding Behind your Hair

Girl hiding her face behind her hair — Photo: Depositphotos

Q: I have the bad habit of hiding my face behind my long hair. I’m 21. My mother says that I should grow up and stop hiding behind my hair. In her opinion it makes me look like a childish teenager and shy. She says that I should open up my face. What do you think?

A: Does your mother actually use the words “you should grow up” because of this habit, or is this the way that you interpret it? I’ll be very blunt here; having to grow up and to stop hiding behind your hair are two very distinctly different things.

Your habit of hiding behind your hair can have two possible roots: It’s either really just a bad habit, like biting your nails, which is relatively easy to overcome with determined concentration and continued motivation. Or it can be because you’re a shy or insecure person, either because of a phase that you’re going through, difficult circumstances or because you’re simply naturally inclined to be shy or insecure.

You’ll have to figure out for yourself why you tend to hide behind your hair. If it’s just a bad habit, you can force yourself to beat the habit. You can cut your hair shorter so that your hair can’t hang in front of your face or have your bangs cut shorter and wispy so that it can’t be in your face. You can also tie your hair back for a while until you outgrow the habit of hiding behind your hair.

Make a mental note to immediately realize when you hide behind your hair, and then purposefully lift your face, pull your shoulders back, brush your hair away from your face and tuck it behind your ears. You can also make use of pretty clips to clip the hair around your face to the back, so that it can’t actually hang in your face.

If you hide behind your hair because you’re shy, you can still overcome this habit, it will just take a bit longer and you’ll have to work at it harder. If you are a naturally shy person, it also makes matters worse if your mother uses phrases such as “grow up” or that you look childish, etc. You should ask her to stop making negative comments such as this, or you can just teach yourself to block out any negative comments from anyone around you.

Teenagers tend to be in a very emotionally and hormonally phase in their lives where they are exceptionally insecure, uncomfortable in their own skins and rely primarily on the opinions of their classmates, friends and family about themselves and everything else. This is why especially teenager girls tend to hide behind their hair as a subconscious barrier between themselves and everything around them, particular when they feel shy, scared or uncomfortable. This is probably why you mother referred to your actions as looking childish.

There are many ways to improve self-confidence. If you have the means, you might want to see a psychologist to help you to determine the roots of your confidence issues and work through them. You can also make use of self-help books or courses, do some research on self help websites etc.

Many people are shy at 21, because you’re supposed to be an adult, but you’re still unsure of a lot of things.

©Hairfinder.com

See also:

When is a hairstyle too childish?

Will my hair get damaged just by running my hands through it?