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Moustaches

       Moustaches are always in. In fact, I have a great suspicion that Adam in the Garden of Eden probably grew one. If he didn’t, how would he have shaved it off? My mind whirls with imagination at the prospect of him having the painstaking task of sharpening a thin stone into a razor’s edge; and traipsing down the hill and to the lake to see his reflection; then carefully slicing away his facial hair. We’ll just never know for sure about Adam. One thing we do know, he sure didn’t have a Norelco.
 
Man with a moustache        The common vernacular terms for the word moustache are: stache, tache, tash, pushbroom and mo. Believe it or not, it was once believed to aid in sexual activity.
 
       If there was a real Tarzan of the jungle, I bet he would have had a huge bush of a moustache that probably ran into his sideburns and beard with long flowing hair down his back. For some reason I cannot picture Tarzan looking clean shaven and swing from a strong twine rope from tree to tree, except it be Hollywood of course. The two just doesn’t seem to mix, yet when we look at the old Tarzan movies we see every Tarzan clean shaven. It is no secret that behind every man with or without a stashe is a woman. With Tarzan; it had to be Jane and her negative vibes against facial hair. Hollywood’s jungle has never been the same since.
 
       Gentlemen who want to get away from their baby faced look discover new beginnings when they grow a moustache. Their face metamorphoses into a strength otherwise not had. A confidence is gained along with many new rewards bringing challenging opportunities just from growing the “stashe.”
 
       Historically speaking in the USA, military men were required to grow a moustache. The younger ranked men were expected to grow a small moustache. When these men advanced in rank so did the growth of the moustache becoming thicker and bushier as well. No wonder the old pictures of such men in power as, General Sherman and General Grant had such large moustaches.
 
       Round faces benefit from growing a moustache, as it cuts the face from being quite so round. Remember the cartoon character “Yosemine Sam?” He was the little redheaded irate pirate with the big temper and the huge handlebar moustache about the size of his hat? Think of him, when I say; the bigger the better stashe grown, will bring a new dimension into the features of a round face. Sideburns would also help, as they grow down taking some of the roundness away. It’s almost like shading on a canvas.
 
       There’s just something impressive about a man when he grows a moustache. They seem to develop a mystery from within and a new authority they previously didn’t have. When the moustache is thin, sometimes this depicts more of a meticulous nature, as he has to take the time to trim it to his exact measurement so desired. Character building thin stashes look better on smaller faces. There’s a distinct look of professionalism in this type of stashe as I picture this man carrying his briefcase walking to work; almost an executive appeal.
 
       Bushy moustaches can be attractive with a bushy beard only if they are controlled and trimmed to stay in line. Here’s a tip for all you moustached men: it is a bit offensive to a woman to sit across the table with her date; as he begins to hoard food unbeknownst to him; in his bushy stash or see splashes of spaghetti sauce discoloring his beard and notice droplets of wine taking up temporary residence on the stache and beard. If this sounds like you, there are special cups you can buy with a partial cover to catch anything that would normally end up on the outside of you instead of the inside. Yes, they really do have them.
 
       Moustaches take daily grooming to look continually smart and polished. Usually there is the shaving that is required depending upon the type of moustache. There is moustache wax, special brushes, combs, scissors and even a snood(nets).
 
       Just like women, but not as noticeable, men’s faces fall too and if you have droopy lines around your mouths and would like to cover them up, you can grow a beard or a droopy moustache otherwise known as a Fu Manchu. I haven’t discovered a woman yet who can do this!
 
       There are well over 10 different kinds of moustache styles to choose from and in some parts of the country men have moustache growing competitions to see just how long and well groomed stashes they can grow. There are even fund raising events involved in the macho moustache competitions. You will find special moustache websites for only those with that stache and uniquely different clubs selectively for men who have cast their razor’s to the wind in favor for facial hair. I’m surprised we don’t have a moustache union somewhere or moustache carnivals. Why not a moustache hall of fame?
 
       Isn’t it funny how we associate some people with their moustaches? Old time silent film star “Charlie Chaplin” was well known for his toothbrush stashe. British TV-series “Fawlty Towers” had Basil Fawlty’s thin stashe. Remember “Gomez” on “The Adams Family?” When we think of these people we “see” their moustaches.
 
       Stashes aren’t for everyone though. If you are considering a stashe ask yourself if you are ready for the challenge of the upkeep. The daily ritual of clipping and trimming can be time consuming. On the other hand, if you are going to shave anyway, might as well put a little creativity and design on your facial personality. Nothing has to be a chore or boring if you have your morning coffee with you. Light a candle and see what you look like under that lighting. Ask your mate to see what she says about your new look. What do you have to lose, except what a shave wouldn’t handle?
 
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